The Morning Roundup: Yo, GOP, You Got Drumpf'd! | News

The Morning Roundup: Yo, GOP, You Got Drumpf'd!


Drumpf speaks to the press, as faithful servant Chris Christie seems nervously obedient to ... a sharpshooter in a watchtower, maybe?
  • Drumpf speaks to the press, as faithful servant Chris Christie seems nervously obedient to ... a sharpshooter in a watchtower, maybe?

Call it Sobering Wednesday, the day after GOP leaders watched in horror as their party became the seemingly irretrievable plaything of New York billionaire Donald J. Drumpf on Super Tuesday.

(That's Donald J. Trump for those of you that haven't yet downloaded the Drumpfinator Chrome Extension offered by HBO's "Last Week Tonight with John Oliver.")

And now, as fellow big-city billionaire  Bruce Wayne would say to his faithful Chris Christie-like sidekick: "To the Batshit!"

1. Trump to the press: I am a "unifier." Honest to Donald, that's what he said to the no-doubt penned-up reporters at a Palm Beach presser Tuesday night, after racking up a dominant number of wins over his Republican rivals, as predicted.

From CNN:

Trump swamped his rivals by piling up seven wins across the nation, demonstrating broad appeal for his anti-establishment movement. 

...  Trump won across the conservative South, in Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia, Tennessee and Virginia, but also captured more moderate Massachusetts and Vermont.

"This has been an amazing night," Trump told reporters at his Mar-a-Lago resort in Palm Beach, Florida. He vowed to be a "unifier" and to go after Clinton with a singular focus once the GOP race eventually winds up.

As Trump blustered and bullied his way through his typical scattin'-and-be-boppin' opening remarks, and the brief Q&A that followed, his faithful sidekick (and former rival) Gov. Chris Christie of New Jersey stared at the back of his master's shiny, dramatically sloped hair sculpture, or perhaps into the distance, with an expression that suggested horrifying realizations had struck him.

Christie quickly became the meme of the night, as reported and complied by BBC News:

As he stood behind his party's frontrunner, his face led some commentators to suggest he was reflecting on making a serious mistake.

Many observers likened Christie to a hostage reading a ransom note, causing #FreeChrisChristie to trend on Twitter.

Media reports seized on the memes, with Alexandra Petri writing a homage to what she called his "wordless screaming" in the Washington Post.

"His were the eyes of a man who has gazed into the abyss, and the abyss gazed back, and then he endorsed the abyss," she said.

Meanwhile, another GOP 2016 contender, this one current and more successful at it than Christie, claimed he'd pumped the brakes a bit on Donald..

2. Cruz to Rubio: Get out of the way, loser. Universally disliked Texas Sen. Ted Cruz won in his home state, which must have been a yuuuuugge relief, but also in Oklahoma, which gave him an opening to call for the other three remaining challengers — especially Sen. Marco Rubio of Florida — to get out of the way and let him finish off the Drumpfenstein Monster.

But only after "prayerful" reflection, of course. No rush, guys.

From CBS:

"So long as the field remains divided, Donald Trump's path to the nomination remains more likely," Cruz told supporters gathered at the Redneck Country Club in Stafford, Texas. "And that would be a disaster for Republicans, for conservatives and for the nation." [Editor's note: It was later determined that Cruz had won in Alaska]

He briefly congratulated his chief rival for the billionaire's many wins Tuesday night, but also mentioned that "we are the only campaign that has beat Donald Trump once, twice, three times.

Despite Trump's complimentary tone toward Cruz during his own victory speech, (not so toward Cruz, whom he called a "lightweight" after the two had spent a few days exchanging playground taunts), Cruz tore into Trump pretty hard.

"America shouldn't have a president whose words would make us embarrassed if our children repeated them," said America's hallway monitor. 

3. But Rubio wins Minnesota! That's right, no one can call Marco Rubio a total loser anymore. He finally has one in the W column! And with the primary in his own state coming up shortly, he drove that point home with some Marco Math to show that, he, not Cruz, is the true Drumpf Killer.

From Los Angeles Times:

Rubio argues that he can still amass delegates and that he will do better on politically friendlier terrain in the states ahead than Cruz, who had staked his strategy on sweeping the conservative and religious South. 

“Two weeks from tonight, right here in Florida, we are going to send a message loud and clear,” Rubio said in Miami. “We are going to send a message that the party of Lincoln and Reagan, and the presidency of the United States, will never be held by a con artist.”

Never say never, Marco. 

And on the Dem side:

4. Hillary Clinton's Got This.

That's how Harry Enton of FiveThirtyEight sums it up:

To borrow a phrase from Dan Rather, Hillary Clinton swept through the South like a big wheel through a delta cotton field on Super Tuesday. She won seven states total, including Alabama, Arkansas, Georgia,
Tennessee, Texas and Virginia in the South. She also won Massachusetts and American Samoa. Bernie Sanders emerged victorious in four states (Colorado, Minnesota, Oklahoma and Vermont), but his victories tended to come by smaller margins and in smaller states. The end result is that Clinton has a clear path to winning the nomination, and Sanders’s only hope to derail her is for something very unusual to happen.

With plenty of small-donor cash on hand, though, it's unlikely that the Sanders campaign is packing it in any time soon.

Meanwhile, just to remind you that there are wars at home as well:

4. Margaret Spellings meets the Unwelcoming Committee at UNC.

The new Republican-installed system president was not greeted warmly by everyone on campus, her first day on the job.

From WRAL:

Hundreds of students and faculty members gathered on the campus of UNC-Chapel Hill to express continued dissatisfaction and frustration over Spellings' hiring. She succeeds Tom Ross, who was forced out by the Republican-controlled Board of Governors and left at the beginning of the year

The protesters chanted "Stand up, fight back" on the steps of Wilson Library, and several students read a list of reasons why they think Spellings is the wrong choice to lead the 17-campus UNC system. The list included her implementation of the No Child Left Behind education reform program as U.S. education secretary under former President George W. Bush, her role as a board member for the for-profit University of Phoenix and her record on LGBT rights.

Have a great Wednesday, folks!

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