Franklin Graham, Crisis Negotiator for the Oregon Dildo Militia (UPDATED) | News

Franklin Graham, Crisis Negotiator for the Oregon Dildo Militia (UPDATED)

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Franklin Graham, that fab-wealthy son-of-a-preacher man who took up the family biz so that he could bring the "God" back into goddamn politics, will ensure a peaceful end to the standoff between law enforcement and the last four armed occupiers of the Oregon federal wildlife reserve. Hallelujah!

Truly. The militia mooks actually delayed their surrender Thursday, to make sure he'd be there. 

Frank announced Thursday that he's-a-headin' to Oregon to meet up with Nevada Assemblywoman and crazyperson Michele Fiore, so that they can comfort and protect the defeated patriots as they're being frog-marched off to a FEMA camp or whatever.

And Graham's not just parachuting in for some free publicity. No, sir.

Taking a break from his Let's Eradicate Homosexuals Tour 2016, Graham has been conference-calling with God, Fiore and the brave holdouts in recent days. The latter have no choice but to surrender (defiantly!), after most of their fellow freedom fighters have swapped drab camo for state-issued orange. That includes Nevada rancher and tax evader Cliven Bundy, and his idiot sons.

According to Graham, he was dag-nab-deputized by the FBI for the negotiator job:


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Graham and the FBI may need to wait, however, until the occupiers get finished washing and repackaging all the gifts they received from well-wishers during their stay.

UPDATE: Annnnnd it's over. (Check out the "Fifty Shade of Grey" quote from Fiore at the end of that story. WTF???!!!)


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