If Mama ain't happy … The most honest News and Observer obit ever | News

If Mama ain't happy … The most honest News and Observer obit ever

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Readers of the News & Observer obit pages were treated Thursday to an epic seven-paragraph tale of a life that "seemed like a soap opera ... a modern day tragedy."

Whoever authored the obituary for Wilma Marie Voliva Black, who died Dec. 22 in Knightdale at the age of 94, definitely had Wilma's back, and woe to those at the end of her life who didn't.

The story begins grippingly with the birth of a tough gal born to a tough mom.

From the N&O:

Wilma Marie Voliva Black struggled into life over 94 years ago. Alone, Eva realized that her sixth child wasn't crying and unwrapped the umbilical cord from her only daughter's neck on December 11, 1921.

Wilma had to be tough, considering the circumstances she would come to live with:

Her co-star in a church play, Charles Black pressed Wilma into an elopement in May 1939. Wilma later learned that their marriage had been a cover for his sexual affair with their minister's wife. Alcoholism and adultery continued throughout their marriage and ended in Wilma's filing for divorce in 1969. Wilma is survived by the five children born to this union: Brenda (PA), Ronald (ID), Donald (CO), David (NC) and Debra (CO). She is also survived by 16 known grandchildren and their families. 

Did you catch that last part? Known grandchildren. Ouch. 

Not only does the ex-husband get the knife, but so does the son who put her in an unnamed assisted- living facility in Knightdale—which also goes unspared from sharp words. (So does the hospital where Wilma was sent shortly before her death, for UTI, sepsis and light aspirate pneumonia.)

And then:

She died alone on Dec. 22 and was buried after [her son] Dave and his mistress returned from their Dec. 25 vacation trip to Oregon.

And. His. Mistress. Ouch. Ouch-ouch-ouch-ouch-OUCH.

UPDATE: The News & Observer obit has been pulled from the website, but the page has been Tweeted here. It's  recommended reading.

And remember kids: Be nice to Mama. It's never too late for her to put you on blast. 


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