Leaning from the window of a gleaming 2009 Cadillac Escalade modified by rapper Xzibit in a process known as "pimping that ride," Durham Chief of Police Jose Lopez announced the Durham Police Department's latest plan for connecting with Durham's troubled youth Wednesday morning.
"We've decided to start a hip-hop record label," Lopez said, smiling after he slid the gold grill from his top row of generally white teeth so as to enunciate more clearly. "We've tried all sorts of things to connect with the kids in Durham—after-school programs, Popsicles, multiple arrest warrants. Now it's time we fuck with this rap game."
The label, Urban Renewal Records, will launch its efforts late in the fall, Lopez said, with an album entitled Take My Bull By Its Balls from young Durham rapper Geoff Magnum. The first single, "Get Up Off That Chronic," is a 9th Wonder production and will be premiered on K97.5 FM in early August.
Also, nothing in this post, aside from the photo, is true—well, as far as we know.