4516 Durham-Chapel Hill Boulevard, Durham
You can buy a black blazer at Men's Warehouse. You can probably find a couple of little white Westies on adoptapet.com. The beard? Just grow one. But to get them all in one place and then go home in a new or used Mark Jacobson Toyota, your only option is Mark Jacobson Toyota. The INDY's favorite hatchback huckster has starred in so many nutty commercials for his Durham dealership that we can't even. They run the gamut from mildly hokey to clinically insane (there's one where he springs from hiding in the backseat of a woman's car, to illustrate how he's always there for you). He knows it, playing up a noisy, slick-talking character seemingly cast adrift from the Wild West days of local-access cable. Just know that you can Google "Mark Jacobson bobbleheads," "Mark Jacobson A Few Good Men parody," and "Mark Jacobson washing dogs" and expect amusing, annoying results.