Taking the thrill out of sodomy | Front Porch | Indy Week

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Taking the thrill out of sodomy

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I don't know what you're up to this morning, but I've just spent two hours getting my truck inspected. So, I haven't had time to listen to NPR or my father's messages (they provide a completely balanced news-diet).

However, I've just seen that about 30 of my friends (yup, I do actually have some) have e-mailed me to let me know that the Supreme Court has just overturned the Tex-ass law that said sodomy was bad and you cudn't do it.

What is going on here? It's LEGAL? I sure don't want to do it anymore; do you? Suddenly, it's going to be about as thrilling as paying my taxes, mopping the kitchen floor, drinking responsibly, writing checks to OXFAM, and duly sending birthday presents to my nephews.

I think today's development is a devious attempt by the Conservative Far-Right to take all the fun out of everything. Please join with me in writing immediately to President Bush and that handsome John Edwards and Oprah ... tell them you want the fun put back in your sodomy, or you want no sodomy at all. Believe me, I don't want this watered-down stuff they're offering!

Fran Leibowitz was right. She said that gay people were the squarest people she knew today. Who else is fighting to get married and join the army? I don't want to be told that whatever I do in my bedroom is OK. Next thing you know, Wal-Mart will be offering discounts on developing the photographs I used to have to get my dyke friend to develop for me in her basement with chemicals she snitched from her day job at the VA Hospital. I enjoyed that routine. I guess it's all gone now.

Next thing I know, my mother will be joining PFLAG and be marching in all the parades that I skip. What a sad day for this Working Boy from Durham.

This news from the Supreme Court is very sad-making. It has taken away a considerable portion of the sunshine in this day for Little Me. I can't be the only cranky, middle-aged homosexual hoping that someone will do something to make this all better.

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