Yet another film adaptation of a graphic novel I've never heard of, this kitschy caper tracks a group of retired CIA black-ops agents forced back into action after a high-tech assassin goes gunning for them. The plot—using that term loosely—lurches about with no rhythm or reason. The whole exhibition essentially amounts to a garish vaudeville revue starring past-their-prime performers playing with and against type—"Step right up, folks, and see the amazin', wacky John Malkovich!" Add to him a laconic Bruce Willis (with a clueless Mary-Louise Parker in tow), a wise old Morgan Freeman, Helen Mirren shooting one machine gun after another, and bit parts from Richard Dreyfuss, Brian Cox and Ernest Borgnine (?!)—it's like a West End production of The Expendables
. Director Robert Schwentke tries to have it both ways by stuffing his actors' geriatric antics into a legitimate action movie, but neither half is the least bit convincing ... or entertaining.