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Melissa and Roger

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Dear Cupid,
You were right about Richard and I last January - we get along great. He even rubs my belly after I eat too much Pad Kee Mao from Twisted Noodle. What an intelligent, funny, handsome, and caring guy. Now, if he would only accept my compliments. When did you first know this relationship would work out? When Richard and I first met as boy scouts in Raleigh twelve years ago? I first knew when he asked prior to our first date, “Where is somewhere you have always wanted to go but have never been?” We have been answering that question ever since.

From this romance, I am learning that I am more fortunate and larger than I thought. Keep up the good work, little naked boy with wings. Sincerely in love, Jordan I shouldn’t be telling you this. If you knew my husband you might either go off in a fit of rage thinking that you got a bum deal or just a bum OR you might become so despondent that you think about jumping off the Durham Gateway Bridge onto 147 with the blue lights sparkling as your last vision of earth. Goodbye cruel world and awesome food trucks.

My husband isn’t perfect so please calm your nerves. However, he is perfect for me. We dated in the Land of Enchantment – how enchanting can dating in a desert be? He followed me to Durham despite his reservations for ACC basketball. He bought a ranch style and on the bathroom floor he took a knee. He wore white at our wedding. My husband allows me to “dude” him and laughs at my fits of rage and my puns. I know, it’s hard not to think I took the last good one.

We had a baby, and get this, he wakes up every time the baby wakes up, changes her diaper and then hands her to me for the nurse down. Every Time. And I don’t care if this is inappropriate to talk about in front of strangers but he knows a way around the female form. His kissing, when I say it feels like I’m sitting on a radiator that is a callback to actual events. Oh don’t go. There’s more. Please don’t do anything rash. — Melissa and Roger — Durham

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