You know how some people say, "If you've seen the trailer, you've seen the whole movie?" Such is the case with Robert Rodriguez' satire/homage to the low-budget action flicks of the 1980s, spun off from the fake trailer in 2007's Grindhouse
. Danny Trejo is all stone-faced menace as a blade-wielding ex-Federale badass and inexplicable chick magnet whose mastery of every bladed weapon and firearm known to man comes in handy when he's framed for the attempted assassination of an anti-immgration Senator (Robert De Niro, surprisingly one of the least over-the-top performers). Amusing but rarely thrilling, the film's satire of the immigration debate is diluted by its need to find bits for a bloated ensemble cast, including Steven Seagal, Lindsay Lohan, Jessica Alba and many other (most memorable are Michelle Rodriguez as a sultry revolutionary and Don Johnson as a creepy, psycho-Minuteman type. The bit where Trejo pays homage to a classic scene in Die Hard
with a human intestine is a hoot, though. Hopefully, the next Grindhouse
spin-off, Hobo with a Shotgun
, will yield better results.