Buh bye, Jesse Helms. North Carolina's infamous statesman will soon end his 30 years in the U.S. Senate, and the veteran anti-Helms activists at Internationalist Books are throwing him a retirement party. Senator Helms' Lonely Hearts Club celebration will include music from Jackie O. Pillbox, Brother Reade and the Dynamite Brothers, Helms-inspired art, a speech by former Senate candidate Cynthia Brown, and free whacks at a pinata full of Jesse's favorite accessory--condoms. The invitation they sent to Helms describes a dance floor with a "writhing, joyful mass of people of all creeds, colors and sexual orientations [that] will be grinding its way into a brighter future." Join the dancing mass Monday, Oct. 28, at 9 p.m. at the Cat's Cradle in Carrboro. Oh, and Jesse, don't let the Senate chamber door slam on your ass on the way out. Call 942-1740 for information.